2. Live YOUR passion. When we aren’t living our passion, we can be unhappy. Fear often prevents us from taking the necessary steps to live our passion. People who are living their passion are vibrant and are great fun to be around. Our attitudes are contagious!
3. Ask for what you want in a loving way rather than being negative or holding it in and being resentful. For example, instead of complaining, "Why are you late? We haven't had dinner together as a family in weeks!” request, “I would like you to be home on time for dinner. I miss you when you are not here and it is important to me that we eat dinner together." We all know this one. However, it’s practicing it that’s difficult!
4. Assume their innocence instead of assuming their guilt. Remember when you were dating and your spouse could do no wrong? When they did goof up, you thought, "That's just not like him/her," and you continued concentrating on what you loved about him/her. Spend one day seeing him/her like that.
5. Create agreements around conflict. Conflicts do not have to be emotionally charged. Usually conflict is showing you an area in your life where you may need healing. Your partner is actually being the catalyst for a change that will make you a better person.
6. Touch and hold each other throughout the day without it necessarily leading to sex. Touching releases chemicals in your body that give you a sense of increased well-being.
7. Spend time spiritually connecting. Read something inspirational, pray and/or meditate together before you rise every day.
8. Make his/her success just as important as your own. Be sure you make this fun and not another burden to carry.
9. Do something loving for him/her when you don't feel like it. Taking action often changes feelings.
10. Forgive quickly rather than making them suffer for what they did. Why make yourself miserable? Someone once said, “Revenge is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”
11. Examine your beliefs about relationships and about your willingness to allow someone to love you. Many of us carry around destructive unconscious beliefs. If you’re not experiencing harmony in your relationship, be open to checking out your belief system with a therapist.
12. Take good care of yourself so you are not dependent on your spouse to make you happy. Find ways to nurture yourself. If you were not nurtured as a child, you have an opportunity to do that for yourself now.
13. Monitor your thoughts. How often are you thinking judgmental thoughts about your spouse? Play this game with yourself: for every negative thought you have, you have to think of three positive things about them.
14. Learn to be a good receiver. Many of us have learned how to be great givers, but we haven’t learned how to become good receivers. As a result we are not quite satisfied with our partners.
