1. What grievances have you thought about today about your spouse? What could you do differently? For example, Brian, my husband, finds that his grievances dissipate if he speaks them as soon as he catches that he is thinking about them; however, instead of being serious about them, he exaggerates them in a funny way. This helps him get them out of his system and it helps me not to get defensive.
2. Are you living your passion? If not, what is one small step you will do today toward making that happen? For example, if you have always wanted to take piano lessons, one small step would be to research the piano teachers in your community.
3. What is something you want from your spouse that you may have not communicated to him/her?
4. The best time to communicate your desires is not at a time of conflict or stress. When will you do this?
5. What ritual could you and your spouse do in the morning?
6. What is something you haven’t forgiven your spouse for?
7. How is this interfering in your relationship?
8. What agreements do you want regarding conflict? Make sure you write them down to avoid future debates about this issue.
9. Make a list every night for a week of everything your partner gave to you during the day that you can remember. This list may include words of encouragement, touches, loving glances, acts of service, understanding, nudges to become a better person, or advice. Read through the list slowly – take it in. Pause for a moment to be grateful for the gifts.
