The Family Puzzle... Putting the Pieces Togeather
Session 4 - DISCIPLINE THAT GETS RESULTS
Lesson 5 - Detaching With Love
One of the best things we can do to improve communication is to learn how and when to detach. The following excerpt from Melody Beattie’s book The Language of Letting Go is valuable for understanding to the process of detaching with love:
“Sometimes people we love do things we don’t like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we’re all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates.
When do we detach? When we’re hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame. When we get hooked into a power play – an attempt to control or force others to do something they don’t want to do. When the way we’re reacting isn’t helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we’re reacting is hurting us. Often, it’s time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do.
The first step toward detachment is understanding that reacting and controlling don’t help. The next step is getting peaceful – getting centered and restoring our balance. Take a walk. Leave the room. Go to a meeting. Take a long, hot bath. Call a friend. Call on God. Breathe deeply. Find peace. From that peace and centering will emerge an answer, a solution.”
Detachment does not mean apathy or abandonment. It is the ability to withdraw from a negative situation without judgment of yourself or the other person, and to have faith in the process of resolution.
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