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INVOLVES
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DOES NOT INVOLVE
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| Being silent and listening intently. |
Interrupting or formulating your response while the person is talking. |
| Using words that convey acceptance of the individual and respect for his thinking. |
Name-calling, comparisons, criticism, sarcasm or prying. |
| Creating a warm atmosphere for talk by choosing a time that is appropriate for you and your child. |
Insistence on talking at an inappropriate time, or forcing communication. |
| Relaxing – responding to your child as a trusted friend. |
Displaying tension, disapproval, or hurry in facial or body expressions. |
| Trying to identify the feeling behind the words. |
Assuming you already know how she feels |
| Influencing – showing a range of possibilities and other points of view. |
Manipulating – trying to get your child to follow your line of thought. |
| Being encouraging and curious. |
Concentrating on what is wrong. |
| Being satisfied with increased understanding and improvement. |
Insisting on immediate solutions. |
| Drawing out solutions from your child. |
Advising, rescuing and solving the problem for your child. |
| Allowing for complete expression of feelings. |
Denying, or not permitting discussion of certain feelings or topics. |
