The Family Puzzle... Putting the Pieces Together
Session 3 - WHY DOES MY CHILD "MISBEHAVE?"
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Exercise: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
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Lesson 4 - Not Another Tantrum!
When your child throws a temper tantrum,
it does not mean he’s a ‘bad’ child. It
only means he’s trying to communicate
something to you.
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What is my child trying to communicate?
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Below are some general don’ts when dealing with tantrums:
- Don’t overpower your child (i.e., hold him down, punish or threaten him)
- Don’t make fun of him
- Don’t argue
- Don’t deal with the tantrum in public (Wanting to avoid embarrassment adds to the tension of the situation, so taking her to a private place like a bathroom will be helpful.)
- Don’t threaten to leave
- Don’t give in to demands
One of the suggestions experts often make is to leave the room when your child has a tantrum. You would use this method if your child is testing your limits or if she wants something that you have told her she couldn’t have. However, realize that if you have been giving in to your child, the situation may need to get a little worse before it gets better. It may also take time and several applications before she understands that you are not going to give in. If she gets hysterical when you leave the room, try sitting down with her without saying anything.
It is very important that you take the time to know your child in order to be effective during temper tantrum situations. For example, if you try negotiating with a child who is hungry, tired, ill, or hypersensitive, you will be fighting a losing battle. If you try negotiation with a child who is testing you, you may lose the respect of your child because he may be asking you to stick to a boundary you’ve set. However, negotiation works well with children who feel overpowered or frustrated.
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