The Family Puzzle... Putting the Pieces Together
Sesson 2 - Encouragement - The Key to Your Child's Self-Image
Lesson 7 - Messages We Give Children
Without our realizing it, many of the messages we give our children every day can be discouraging. Over time, these discouraging messages can accumulate and have a disheartening effect on our children. In the third column below, write a more encouraging message as an alternative to each of these discouraging ones. Because many of these phrases have become second nature to us, this exercise can be frustrating. You may want to do them with your partner or with a friend. To receive the most benefit from this exercise, refrain from jumping ahead and getting the answers from the link established below.
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Common Statement
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Discouraging Message
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*Encouraging Message
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| Be careful. |
The world is a scary place. |
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| Be quiet. |
Don’t express yourself. |
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| Shame on you. |
Feel bad about yourself |
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| Be nice (or good). |
You are not usually a nice or good person |
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| Don't get into trouble. |
You get into trouble if I don’t watch you. |
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| Not so fast, not so high. |
Live life at 60%. |
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| Hurry up. |
Give up your desires for mine. |
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| Don't cry/don't be a baby |
Don’t express your emotions. |
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| Be a big boy/girl. |
You will not be good enough until you are older. |
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| Stop whining. |
Don’t ask for what you want. |
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| Here, let me do that. |
I don’t have faith in your ability. |
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| You are not old enough yet. |
You are not trustworthy yet. |
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| Don't/stop it. |
Don’t go after what you want. |
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| I don't care. |
If said often enough, this could be interpreted as meaning that you really don’t care. |
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| We can't afford it. |
Scarcity thinking. Or you are not worth it. |
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* Click here to download a printout of the above with the answers
Click Here to go to Exercise 7
