The Family Puzzle... Putting the Pieces Together
Sesson 1 - Relationships First
Lesson 2 - Mastering Change
No one masters something new immediately--sometimes it seems like it takes forever to stop old, unproductive behaviors. Before we get too far into this course, it’s important to discuss the ways to change behavior. It’s also helpful to understand the four levels of competency in our learning curve.
The Four Levels of Competency
1. Unconscious Incompetence -
When you don’t realize that you don’t know what you’re doing.
2. Conscious Incompetence –
When you understand that you don’t know what you’re doing.
3. Conscious Competence –
When you’re aware of your skills and sometimes catch yourself after the fact, knowing how
you should have responded.
4. Unconscious Competence –
When you can practice your skills without a conscious effort.
Here is how it works: You are going through your family life and you can feel something wrong, but can’t “put your finger on it” (Unconscious incompetence). You take this parenting course and you realize that you are not setting clear limits with your children (conscious incompetence). Several days later, you are in the middle of a situation with your child and you realize that you aren’t setting a clear limit. You alter your behavior midstream by using a clear limit (conscious competence). At first it’s a little clumsy, like most new behaviors, but then a month goes by and you will notice that you set clear limits with your child without even thinking much about it (Unconscious Competence).
This is a natural progression of change. The degree to which you are able to master a concept depends largely on how accepting and loving you are with yourself during the process. So, be gentle with yourself and know that mastery is around the corner. If you were just learning to play the piano, you wouldn’t expect yourself to be able to play a Mozart requiem in a month! Take baby steps. Achieve success and keep stepping!
