The Family Puzzle... Putting the Pieces Togeather
Sesson 1 - Relationships First
Lesson 10 - Taking Care of Yourself
How long has it been since you had thirty minutes by yourself to sit quietly, meditate, take a walk in the park or do something that would nurture you?
Taking care of yourself is the most important part of effective parenting. It sounds so simple, yet parents seldom do it. You could read every parenting book ever written, but if you don’t take care of yourself all the new parenting skills in the world will do you little good. I once read a sign that said, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!.” This phrase is true for whomever the major caregiver is in the family, whether the mother or the father.
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It’s crucial that you give yourself at least thirty minutes a day alone in order to be available for the frequent demands parenting puts on you. All too often, we put the needs of our children and others before our own. As a result, our energy is depleted and we have nothing left to give -- or we give from resentment and frustration. Our well has run dry. This is why we react so strongly when minor problems arise. Even a minor problem means we have to expend energy from a depleted source.
Taking care of yourself is a vital part of
caring for your family.
Finding time for yourself in a hectic, schedule-filled day is a challenge. It takes commitment and creativity to look for openings. Below are some ideas to make time for yourself:
- Listen to motivational tapes or relaxing music as you drive in the car.
- Get up one half-hour earlier than everyone else.
- Stay up after everyone else has gone to bed.
- During lunch hours, go for a walk or take your lunch to a park instead of going to a restaurant with co-workers.
- Keep an inspirational book with you at all times to read while waiting in lines at stores, banks, or post offices to help you feel more peaceful.
- Meditate or read while waiting for your appointments.
“There is no love in hurry.”
- Mother Theresa
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There is no love in hurry.
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5 Keys to Taking Better Care of Yourself
- Effectively Manage Your Stress
STEP 1 Identify what is causing your stress. It could be your money situation, your spouse, a parenting issue or a colleague at work.
STEP 2 Determine a plan of action to alleviate the stress.
STEP 3 Take action. The key to managing stress is to take action. Hoping the situation will just get better on its own is denying your power to change it. Feeling powerless will only increase your stressful feelings.
- Identify Early Signs of Burnout
We become accustomed to the uproar in our lives and are often unaware of the symptoms our body gives us to tell us it’s overloaded. Are you irritable, rushed, resentful, accident-prone, feeling overwhelmed, overburdened, tired, snapping at your family or feeling like you’re going to get sick? Other symptoms include unusual fatigue, depression or anxiety, appetite and weight issues, addictions, sleep disorders, and a desire to withdraw from life. Being aware of these early signs can be a vital key to your good mental health. These burnout signs indicate that you need time for you.
- Manage Your Thoughts
We spend a lot of time worrying, feeling guilty, berating ourselves, or being resentful and angry. These are all things that sap our energy and damage our spirit. They keep us from being creative and seeing all of the opportunities that are available to us. In short, they prevent us from feeling fully alive. Instead of ruminating on problems, ask yourself, “What is one small action I could do to improve this situation?” When we ruminate, it feels like we are going down in a whirling spiral. When you take one small action towards change, you reverse the spiral
- Encourage and Nurture Yourself on a Daily Basis
It is hard to live a joyful life when your cup is almost empty. Take responsibility for filling your cup and be less dependent on others filling your cup for you. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. Taking responsibility for your happiness will also keep you from doing self-destructive things to try to fill the emptiness.
- Refuse to Hurry
Rushing about our day is very stressful. Try only putting one or two things on your list that have to get done today and then be happy with everything else that gets done. It’s difficult to be loving and patient when all we do is scurry about.
Summary
Taking care of yourself refreshes you and makes you feel more confident in YOU. It is a wonderful gift to give yourself and those around you. It will enhance your quality of life and provides a wonderful model for your children to follow. When they see their parents taking time for themselves, they not only receive the benefits of parents who really want to spend time with them, but they also learn to do the same thing for themselves.
Treating yourself to a sunset or a special meal is really nurturing you – and it is a wonderful way to show your children how to take care of themselves.
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